


What Am I Doing With My Life

by Milky Maelstrom (milkymaelstrom)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Meta, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-13
Updated: 2011-12-13
Packaged: 2017-10-27 07:08:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/293038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milkymaelstrom/pseuds/Milky%20Maelstrom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Karkat has developed an unnatural fascination with a certain Homestuck Kink Meme and decides one night to consummate their relationship. The most ridiculous thing I have ever written to date. Done for a request on said Homestuck Kink Meme</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Am I Doing With My Life

“Oh, kink meme, oh,” Karkat keened, his hot breath fogging the screen of his husktop. He inched ever closer until his cheek was pressed against the cold glass. “Please...”

Where this had started as a barely blackened kismesissitude, Karkat tacking on complaints which were quickly removed, and the kink meme reciprocating with another night of his requests going unfilled, I had become so much more. Bitter spades had shifted to saccharine hearts as he thumbed the edge of the screen as though trying to pick up the gentle curves of that sensual sans serrif script.

His eager tongue left his mouth, tracing wobbly lines around his most favorite fills. For a moment he considered how blessed he would be to have Terezi's abilities and be able to taste the sweet blueberry hue of hyperlinks (though most of them, now clicked, would be more of an aubergine.)

One hand snaked down to his jeans, unbuttoning them with ease as he wriggled out of them. His pants and boxers fell to the floor and he kicked them away with abandon, quite eager for this latest bout of textual teasing. He bit his lip as he refreshed the page, his bulge hardening as the meme took a few seconds longer than usual to load.

“What a fucking tease,” he hissed.

Then, caught in the moment, he seized the husktop in his hands and rutted against it with a shudder. He needed this, and he knew the kink meme did too. It had been too long since they last fatefully met in the core with the others, where all he could provide was a gentle stroke or two. It was too dangerous around the others. This kind of love...they could never understand.

“Fffuuuck,” Vantas moaned louder this time. He wished the kink meme could moan back. Maybe later he could look for some kind of text to speech program. Hearing his computer rattle off requests for various underage humans to be paired in sexual fiction with their guardians would really get him off.

Then, though Karkat was too caught up to hear it, the door clicked open. He did, however, hear the gasp of disgust that came afterwards.

“Kk, what the FUCK are you doing?” Sollux asked with a look of absolute horror on his face.

“WHAT THE FUCK CAPTOR GET OUT.”

“Kk, are you on that thtupid human thite again? You have a problem!”

“GET THE FUCK BACK BITCH, YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE.” At this point, he was still naked, though his hand quickly shot towards his bulge to cover his shame.

“I'm telling you thith ath you friend: you need help!”

“YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND OUR LOVE!”

“Fine, if you want to thpend the retht of your exithtance fucking a computer, then that'th fine with me!”

Unable to waste any more time arguing with Karkat, especially while he was naked, Sollux turned and slammed the door closed.

“So,” Karkat turned back to his husktop, a devious smile creeping across his face, “where were we...”

**Author's Note:**

> This is my life. These are my choices.


End file.
